We humans are an ambitious bunch of people. We want to accomplish all sorts of things in our short time on earth. We want to write books, help others, learn sign language, learn musical instruments, skydive, start businesses, learn foreign languages, make a difference, break world records, ride in a hot-air balloon — the list goes on and on.

What about you? What do you want to do? At the end of your life, what would make you successful? What must you build, accomplish, change, achieve, invent, establish, develop, cultivate, cause, launch, produce, or create that will make you feel like you have been successful? It’s yours to decide. Nobody but you gets to make this decision.

Now write it down on a piece of paper.

Everyone has a different answer, but no matter what that thing is, it will require work. In fact, it will probably require a considerable amount of work. But it’s the most important thing to you, right?

Assuming you sleep for eight hours, work eight hours a day and spend at least two hours commuting, preparing for work, doing housework, laundry, cooking and all the other stuff you have to do, that only leaves about six hours each day.

According to Nielsen’s March 2014 Cross-Platform report, American adults watch an average of five hours and 15 minutes of TV each day. That eats up most of your six hours. In fact, it only leaves about 45 minutes. Granted, there’s more time on the weekends, but not much. Weekends usually contain more projects, more work, more activities and probably even more TV.

Those five hours and 15 minutes of TV each day come to 37 hours each week. Most full-time jobs are 40 hours a week. It’s almost as much time as a second full-time job. And when you include the additional three and half hours of time shifted TV (DVR) that Nielsen reports Americans watch, it’s more than a full-time job.

Is 45 minutes a day enough to get done what you must in order to be successful at the end of your life? If you are working a full-time job, have even a negligible amount normal life responsibility and watch five hours and 15 minutes of TV each day, that’s basically what you’re working with. We haven’t even included social activities. We are left to assume that social activities are relegated to Facebook at stoplights.

Now take that piece of paper on which you wrote what would make you successful and tape it to your TV screen. Put it right in the middle so it obstructs the view of the screen.

Now every time you watch TV, you have to move success out of the way.

Photo by Paolo Margari on Unsplash

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We are at a crossroads with smartphones. We have to make an important decision. We have to decide if we’re going to let them control us or if we are going to grab them by the arm, swat them on the butt, and say, “Now listen, you’re getting too big for your britches. You are living in my pocket and I’m paying your monthly service fees, so you’re going to follow my rules. And if you don’t, you’re going to bed without a charge.”

Just like kids, smartphones need boundaries. Here are five boundaries you must put in place if you want to take back control of your smartphone.

1) Don’t let them interrupt:
“Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, watch me!” your smartphone says as it beeps and buzzes with text after tweet after Facebook notification.

“Honey, just a minute. The grown-ups are talking,” you say to your phone. Would you let your 4-year-old interrupt a conversation? Of course not! You’re not raising a rude child. Don’t let the silicon screamer interrupt a conversation either. Commit to finishing a conversation before checking the text. It can wait.

2) Only let them speak when spoken to:
My grandpa used to say, “When I was a kid, you only spoke when spoken to.” That applies to smartphones, too. Put it on silent — all the time. What about emergencies? This is where it gets really cool. Kids aren’t allowed to call you at work any time they have a silly question or just want to say hi. They have rules they must follow. Your phone needs rules, too. There are lots of ways to silence your phone except for certain numbers like the day care, your job, spouse, elderly parents or kids. Here is how to do it for the iPhone and for Android.

3) Get a sitter:
Sometimes you need to have some mommy-and-daddy (or mommy-and-mommy, or daddy-and-daddy) time. Before cell phones, when you went out to eat at a restaurant, you would leave the number of the restaurant with anyone who might need to get ahold of you in an emergency. That still works today. Leave your phone at home for at least one social event per week. Smartphones are okay to stay home by themselves, as long as they understand not to open the door for strangers.

4) Give them a bedtime:
It is important that kids get adequate sleep, but another benefit of kids going to bed early is that it gives the grown-ups some time to themselves. Smartphones need a bedtime, too. Put them to bed (outside of the bedroom, in case you want to have sex) at a reasonable hour. Then they will be all charged up (pun intended… carefully planned, actually) and ready for a new day tomorrow.

5) Make them run errands:
“Go give the mail to mommy,” you might say to a child. Kids love passing along messages or running small errands. Smartphones are great for that, too. Set up your phone so that you can send emails but can’t receive them (here’s how). This is wonderful. If you think of something you need to tell someone or something you can’t forget to do, just send an email or send yourself a reminder. That’s it. You’re done. No need to deal with the incoming email until it’s time to do so. Email sent and you’re back to living your life.

Technology wasn’t invented for technology’s sake. It was invented to make your life easier. It’s supposed to help you spend more time living your life and less time sustaining it. Use it that way. Time is all you have. Use technology as a tool to enjoy more of your time instead of an obligation that takes you away from living your life.

Photo by Jonas Leupe on Unsplash

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