What to Do When You’re Feeling Down

When you’re working towards a life of fulfillment, you’re going to hit roadblocks. Sometimes things won’t go the way you want them to and you’ll get down.

It happens to everyone. Successful people, however, know how to deal with it. They know how to process the events that happen and the feelings that result in a healthy way so they can get on with things.

Every one of us has our own unique perspective that drives how we see the world. No perspective is right and no perspective is wrong, but they are all very different.

When you look at your own situation, be very aware of the simple fact that you are seeing it through your perspective. And that perspective is only one of a great many that exist.

Since they are all different and none of them are right or wrong, you can simply (but not necessarily easily) find a different one. And since there are an infinite number of different perspectives, you may as well find one that suits you.

Here’s how to change your perspective when you are feeling down.

1. Identify your current perspective
Don’t spend a lot of time on this one. It’s important to understand what your perspective is, but it’s also important not to spend too much time dwelling on it. So, just take a minute and write a bit about your situation and what is bad about it. Just get it down on paper in a paragraph or two.

2. Find a new perspective
Figure out a way that this situation is good. Figure out how it could possibly benefit you. What positive could possibly come of it? What opportunities could arise from it?

Yes, I know this is really hard — especially when you are down. But, it’s critical. This is the moment at which you’ll make a decision that will determine whether you rise to great heights or remain where you are.

So, I’ll give you a few hints.

a) Whatever’s got you down is going to make you stronger. Being successful depends on becoming the best person you can possibly be. And adversity builds you into a stronger person.

b) Loss creates opportunity. Much of what gets folks down is related to loss or disappointment. As difficult as it may be, loss always makes room for new opportunities. So think about the opportunities that could be opening up for you.

You have to get creative with this. It’s never easy, but you can indeed find a new and positive way to view your current situation.

3. Take action
Everyone posts motivational images on Facebook and Pinterest and people like them and share them. That’s all great, but it doesn’t matter if you don’t take action. This is where you have to do something.

Now that you have a new positive perspective, take some action on it. Do something that moves you in the right direction, given your new perspective. I know it’s not easy, but it’s the only way to move forward in the direction you want to go.

Use these steps to get you out of your funk and do the big, great things that will take you to where you want to go.

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This article was originally published on the Huffington Post

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What to Do When You Feel Stuck

Often, when you are trying to accomplish something, you get the feeling of being stuck. It’s like you can’t figure out what to do next.

I chose the word “feel” on purpose. You aren’t really stuck, you just feel that way. Folks who accomplish big things learn how to get past these feelings so they can move forward. That’s what we’re going to talk about today.

You aren’t really “stuck”, you’re probably just fearful or overwhelmed. You see so many things you must do to accomplish your goal, but you’re not looking at the most important thing: the very next step. Naturally, even when you identify that next step, you are afraid it may not be the right step or that it won’t work out as you’d like it to.

But all you have to focus on is that very next step. You might also be worried that that very next step won’t work; worried that you might fail.

Here’s how to get past the worry and overwhelm that’s causing you to feel stuck.

1. Figure out your next step
You don’t actually have to figure this out; you probably already know what it is. You don’t need a six-month, twelve-month, or five-year plan right now, you just need to know what to do right now. Maybe it’s making a simple phone call, sending an email or buying some tool or supply.

That thing is simple and you know what it is. Forget about all the complexity you are creating and just get clear on what that thing is so you can move on to step two.

2. Do that thing
Now do whatever you decided to do in step one. It is that simple. But you might be thinking it’s not simple. It may seem more complex, but it’s not. You’re hesitating to do that thing because you are worried it’s not the right thing to do. Or maybe you are worried it won’t work out like you want it to. You are worried you will fail.

You may fail. In fact, it’s very likely that it will not work out exactly as you expected it to. That’s OK. People who have already accomplished what you are working to accomplish didn’t have any magical powers, information or anything else that you don’t have.

The thing that made them successful was that when things didn’t go how they expected, they accepted it, learned from it and moved on. Most importantly: They DID the next thing.

3. Learn from that thing
Whatever happened when you took that step happened. Now it’s your task to figure out how to proceed next. This is where you make or break your future.

If it went as you expected, that’s fine. You’ve taken one small step forward. If it didn’t work out as you expected, you are faced with a great opportunity: now you get to learn the lesson you needed to learn and move forward with that new information.

When things go as you expect them to that’s fine, but when they don’t, you get two things that are way better:

A) You get more information about how to proceed next.

B) You get resilience.

Resilience is the most valuable life skill you will ever attain. So, go out and get yourself some of it.

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How to Trust Your Gut

There’s two types of intelligence. First there’s the facts and figures, pros and cons and all the logical stuff that we usually focus on. That’s all pretty straightforward and most folks know how to access it and use it.

The other type is bigger, deeper and much more important. It’s all the knowledge, experience and intelligence you’ve attained throughout your life and it’s not as easy to access. And there is a lot more of it. Some call it intuition, instincts or feelings while others believe it comes from a higher power.

If you want to be the best person you can possibly be, you can’t rely on the facts and figures, you’ve got to use the full intelligence you have available to you.

First off, know what you want out of life. Know who you want to be, what you want to do, who you want to help — know the person you want to be. Don’t worry if you don’t have an exact picture, you don’t need to know all the details. Just understand the major stuff.

This big vision you have for yourself drives everything. When you know what that is, your “gut” will guide you to it. It’s too big and there’s too much involved to use surface facts and figures to get there. That’s why you have to train yourself to understand what your gut is telling you.

Here’s how to do it:

1. Meditate regularly
What does meditation have to do with trusting your gut? It trains you to get calm and find a peaceful place from which you can access this greater level of intelligence. Through regular meditative practice, you’ll be able to instantly calm and center yourself so you can draw upon the infinite wisdom you have access to. Do it every single day for a set period of time. You won’t see results the first time, or maybe not even the 50th time, but you are training yourself to be able to listen to what your gut is telling you.

2. Get quiet and listen
Try this right now. Think of a decision you need to make. Are you contemplating moving to a different city, leaving a relationship, changing jobs? Think of a yes/no question. Nothing complicated. Formulate the question in your head.

Now sit in a quiet place with no distractions. Take a moment to relax and settle into a comfortable position. With the simple question on your mind, slowly inhale, then exhale.

If you were calm and focused, a yes or a no came into your head. If you didn’t catch it, try it again. Keep trying if you didn’t get an answer.

3. Do it
The answer you got will lead you down the path to being the best person you can be. The answer you get won’t always be the one you like or the easiest one, and it may not lead you where you think you are going, but it will always be the one that is the most genuine to who you really are.

This takes practice. It requires a regular meditation practice and you have to be open to receiving (and acting on) answers that you may not understand right away. But then again, becoming your best self isn’t supposed to be easy.

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How to Take Action

There’s always that “next step” — you know, that next thing you know you need to do to take your life or business to the next level. You think about it, you worry about it, and you wonder if it’s really right.

It’s not easy to take big steps in life — and it’s not supposed to be. You have to take those scary steps to make progress. Starting a business isn’t about accounting, marketing, business plans and selling. It’s about becoming the best person you possibly can be, so that you can take those difficult and scary steps required to make big progress in your business (or anything else that’s important enough to do).

The steps you take aren’t always about the result they will create. They’re frequently more about the lessons you will learn, the perspectives you will gain and building the toughness to charge forward toward something that may not work out the way you want.

You might think you don’t know what it is. That’s probably not true. You probably know exactly what that next thing you should do is, but you’re busy thinking of all the reasons why you shouldn’t do it, why it might not work, and what might go wrong. We’re going to talk about how to deal with all that next, so for now, just focus on that next action.

Here are three steps to taking that next big action in your life.

1. Write down all the negatives
The biggest thing holding most folks back from taking a big action is all the negatives, worries and uncertainty around it. Since those things are keeping you from taking that action, write them down. Take a sheet of paper, your phone or wherever you write stuff down and make a list of all the negatives about doing this thing.

2. Write down all the positives
Now that you got all that out of your system, let’s focus on something more fun to think about. What would happen if it did work out? What if that next action got you to the next level in your business? What if it secured you a new strategic partner? What if you got a new client? What if you got funding? What would that do for you? How would your life be different? What could you do then that you can’t do now? Think hard about this and write as much as you can about how fantastic that would be.

The key is focusing 10 times more on the positives than the negatives. Most folks spend all their time focused on the potential negative outcomes instead of the positives. Every time you sit at a stoplight, wait for your dry cleaning, or anything else that leaves your mind idol, think about what it will be like when you are at the next level in your life.

3. Do the thing
Yeah, it’s that simple. The thing probably isn’t nearly as hard as you’re making it because you are probably intensely focused on the negatives. That’s why you puked it out onto paper and then spent ten times more time writing out the potential positives.

Will it work? I don’t know, and you don’t either. You’re not trying to “get it to work”, you’re doing what you know is the best next action you know right now. Just “doing it” is all you have to worry about. Your goal is not for it to work, but for it to make you better. If it works, you’ll make progress, and that’s great, but if it doesn’t, it’s actually even better. It will make you into someone better.

Go do something.

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How to Do It Your Way

I’m going to sound like Mr. Rogers for a minute, but there really is nobody in the whole world like you. You are a unique person and you are good at and enjoy things that other people don’t. The key to being happy and fulfilled is doing as many of those things as possible.

That’s why when you embark on a journey of starting a business or any other major undertaking in life, you have to start with those things. And that means doing it your way. Not somebody else’s way.

Books, training courses and coaches will offer you “plans” or “blueprints” to success, and they may work. But you’ll be executing someone else’s plan and doing it their way instead of your way. If you can muster the wherewithal to execute that plan, you may make money or have some other external success. But that’s only part of the picture. And for most of us — it’s not enough.

That’s why you have to do it your own way. Here are three steps to figure out what you (and you only) bring to the table and make something of it.

1. Figure out what you enjoy doing

What are the things you like to do? You probably know what this is, but may not be giving yourself permission to explore it. We have a warped and inaccurate idea in this world that in order to be successful, we have to do things we don’t like. Doing the things you enjoy even seems a bit “naughty.”

But it’s not naughty, it’s crucial. Warren Buffet loves analyzing the financials of businesses. He does it a lot, he’s really good at it and he’s very lucky (that’s his word) that doing what he loves doing happens to make a lot of money. In his case, it translates very well and very directly to a business, but most of us have to work harder to figure out how doing what we enjoy makes us money. That’s OK, we’re talking about how to figure it out.

2. Find a unique way to do those things

Figure out a way in which those things you do are unique — and uniquely valuable to the marketplace.

When you see other people doing that thing, what do you wish they did better? What do you do that they don’t? What is the unique way you look at it or the unique perspective you have that everyone else seems to be missing?

This is where you have to get creative. You have to think about how what you do is different than what other people do. This requires creativity, but it’s also fun. Most folks have several things they love doing and there is some really serious magic that happens when you combine those multiple things together.

3. Put it together

Maybe you like water polo and woodworking. Those things don’t seem like they would work very well together. I have no idea how they would. But, if you break them down to the smaller elements of what you love about each, you’ll begin to see how those smaller elements could fit together into a cohesive picture.

The answer will not be clear right away. That’s OK. You’ll have to do some experimenting. That’s part of the process. You probably won’t have an epiphany after you read this, but you will have a new way to look at the things you enjoy and assemble them back into a unique and valuable business.

It’s the only way to live a prosperous and fulfilled live, so get to it.

For more free video training on this topic, click here or watch below:

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What Would Your Best Self Do?

Every day we make thousands of decisions. Not just big decisions like what business to start or what to do in a relationship; we also make small decisions, like what to eat for lunch, what to do after dinner and whether or not to go to the gym.

Where you are in life is the result of the millions of decisions you’ve made up until this point. There’s no sense in focusing on that — good or bad. The great news is that where you are in five years will be the result of the decisions you make today.

If you believe your life can be better than it is today; that you can be a better person who accomplishes more, contributes more, has more money, more time or better relationships, then make the decisions that will get you there.

Here’s a simple way to make decisions that will get you to where you want to be.

1. Decide who you want to be
Decide how you want others to perceive you. What do you want them to say about you? How do you want to spend your time? What do you want to have, do, see, experience, or improve?

Think really hard about this and write a few paragraphs about who you want to be in the future. Don’t worry if you don’t know all the details; you’ll figure it out as you go along. For now, just write out a vision for your future that’s bigger and better than it is today.

2. Make the decisions that “future you” would make
Now that you know who you want to be in the future, think about what decision “future you” would make in a given situation. What would that person do right now? Would he go to the gym, or get fast food? Would he settle for the mediocre job, or pursue his dream business?

You know the answer.

You’re not going to get it right all the time. But if you understand the person you want to be and the decisions he would make, you basically have the blueprint for becoming that person.

Remember, the decisions you made up until now lead you to where you are now. The decisions you make now will lead you to your future.

3. Make the decisions
It’s not always easy and it doesn’t always work, but if you consistently make the decisions that your best self would make, you will have something way better than results: integrity.

We all strive to be honest and do the right thing for others, but when it comes to ourselves, we are too often out of integrity. If you make the decisions that you know your best self would make, you can lay your head on the pillow each night knowing that you did your best.

This simple process works just as well for big life decisions as it does for all the seemingly pointless decisions we make every day. The big decisions are important, but remember how the little decisions stack up. Smoking a cigarette after you read this won’t have much affect, but doing it every day certainly will.

Flopping down on the sofa after dinner and watching TV won’t make a difference today or tomorrow, but after six months, it’s a whole lot of time wasted.

Make this a habit. Before you do anything at all, think about what decision your best self would make in this situation.

Do it all the time.

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How to Start the Year Off Right

It’s a new year and everything just seems “fresh”. The new year is an exciting time.

So, why not make a new year’s resolution? Because they don’t work.

When is the last time you heard someone say, “I started a successful business 10 years ago because it was my new years resolution in 2006”? Not often.

They don’t work for two reasons:

a. Nobody really believes in them: Culturally, new year’s resolutions were a great idea with a great intent at some point, but the common perception around them is more about failure than actual change. When you say you have a new year’s resolution, most people know you won’t keep it and you also know it’s probably not going to happen.

b. There’s nothing magical about January 1st: It’s just another day on the calendar. Just like February 27th, April 12th or September 23rd. They’re all just days. If something is important to you — start doing it the day you decide it’s important. Don’t align it with the new year and the culture of failure that surrounds that.

Here’s a different idea. Try these three steps to start your new year off right:

1. Get clear on what you really want
Start off by getting really clear in your mind about what you actually want your life to look like. How do you want to spend your time? Who do you want to spend it with? What do you want to be doing?

Don’t let your thinking be constrained by ideas that have been imposed on you by the society you are part of, you friends, family, or by your own limitations of what’s possible.

Break it down to the simplest thing you can. For example: I want to sing, I want to paint, I want to fix things, I want to build things, I want to help people.

Don’t think of it as a job or a business; think of it as a “thing you want to do.”

2. Do it
This one is pretty simple. Whatever you decided in #1 — do more of it. Take a big leap or a small step, but whatever you want to do, do more of it. The more of it you do, the better.

3. Talk about it
Something pretty cool happens when you talk about stuff. It becomes real. When you talk about something, it feels more real to you and to other people.

We’re not taught to pursue our dreams. There’s not much of a support system for it. So, when you talk about it, you’re stepping outside what’s normal among your friends and family. And people remember that.

Make this year amazing by pushing yourself to do more of what you really want. Your only alternative is to be in the same place next year wishing you’d started now. Great news: “Now” is now.

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What To Do When You Feel Like Quitting

It doesn’t matter what you’re trying to do. If you are working toward a big goal, you’ll have times when you feel like just giving up.

It’s understandable to feel that way, because if you’re a person who wants to do more, experience more, and accomplish more, you’re working outside what is considered normal in this world. You’re going outside the path that our society has laid out for you and creating your own. That makes it harder.

When you go off the “rails” that were laid down for you, you encounter more bumps, more roadblocks, and it’s harder to push forward.

You’re doing something big. It’s important and it’s different than what most people are doing, so of course it’s going to be hard.

And you’re going to feel like quitting — often.

But that’s OK. You may be outside the norm, but you are not alone. Every successful person has felt like quitting at some point (probably many points). But they didn’t.

Here’s how to get past that feeling of wanting to quit.

1. Remember that everyone feels like quitting sometimes
Everyone wants to give up at some point; especially the people who have already achieved big things. They’re no different than you. They felt like quitting at several points on their journey, but what made them successful is that when they felt like quitting, they didn’t. They kept going.

When you have this feeling, know that you’re at that crossroads. Whether you quit or keeping going will determine your success or failure — nothing else.

2. Look at the situation differently
What you have or have not been doing has gotten you to this place of wanting to quit. Your actions have lead you to this place.

That means you have to start doing things differently. You have to approach your situation from a different perspective.

How? The answer might not be obvious. The change you need to make probably isn’t popping right into your mind right now as you read this. Of course it’s not. This isn’t easy.

Work at it.

Expose yourself to different people, different books, different resources, different anything that could possibly help you to view the situation in a different way. It may be as simple as changing your attitude about it, or it may mean a complete change in direction or approach.

3. Get excited about it
When you feel like quitting, you are at a crossroads. It’s a difficult and frustrating place to be, but if you realize that you are determining your future success — right now, right here — you ought to be excited!

Here you are, standing at a point where you get to decide if you want to be successful or not. You can go down either fork in the road you choose. You can a) Quit. or b) Change your approach and move forward.

Move forward and choose success. That’s exciting.

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How to Deal With Unsupportive Family and Friends

You have decided that becoming an entrepreneur is the life for you. You know it’s not going to be easy, but you’ve been reading a lot, listening to podcasts, and watching shows like Shark Tank and The Profit. You have made up your mind. You know there is risk involved. You know it’s going to be hard work, you know you might fail and you still want to do it. You’ve decided you definitely want to quit your job and start a business.

But there’s only one problem. Every single person in your life thinks you’ve completely lost your mind.

They think you have been seduced into believing some crazy garbage you read in some book or saw online. They hope you will come to you senses soon. They hope you will soon get this “out of your system.” They believe it’s their duty, because they care about you, to try to talk you out of this “craziness,” so you can put all this behind you and get back to your job.

But you know they can’t talk you out of it. That’s why you’re reading this. You want to figure out how to deal with them, so you can get back to starting a business.

To be successful as an entrepreneur (or anything, actually), you have to be positive and happy. Miserable, angry people don’t get very far in life. You have no room for negativity or resentment. So you have to figure out a way not to resent the people in your life who are trying to stop you from doing something that is so important to you.

Start by giving up on any efforts or ideas that you can change them. You may or may not be able to, but either way, it’s not a good use of your time right now (or ever). You’re too busy working on your business. That’s why we’re going to focus on dealing with them, not changing them.

Here are three steps for dealing with friends and family who don’t support you.

Step 1: Understand
Start by understanding. Your unsupportive friends and family are part of the overwhelming majority of the population that doesn’t understand what humans are capable of. They haven’t experienced the mindset changes that you have. They believe that working a job is the only way to support yourself; the only way to get the money you need to survive.

From their perspective, you are driving a car right off the edge of a cliff; you are willfully and intentionally throwing your life away. You are making a conscious choice to eliminate your ability to make money. They’re worried about you.

To be successful, you have have to confidently ignore their advice. If you take their advice, you’ll end up exactly where they are. Understand where they are coming from and why. You don’t have to agree to understand.

Step 2: Isolate and Insulate

Isolate
As an entrepreneur, you have to be willing to take bold actions. Sometimes that means parting ways with people in your life. Everyone in your life must contribute something positive. They have to add value to your life. Perhaps that’s love and support, interesting conversation or maybe you just enjoy laughing and joking together.

But when a conversation with them leaves you feeling frustrated, less motivated and having less hope about your dreams, it may be time to eliminate that person from your life. That is never easy.

It’s hard to end friendships or relationships with family. Nothing will make it easier. Your entrepreneurial dream has to be strong enough that you are willing to endure the difficult repercussions of making difficult decisions like this.

Insulate
There will be some people you are not willing to eliminate from your life. You have to handle them differently: Insulate.

The insulation in a house doesn’t eliminate the outside temperature, it just keeps it out of the house. That’s what you have to do with the negativity and criticism you’re receiving. You have to keep it out.

When someone gives you resistance, remember No. 1 — they don’t understand. Since they don’t have the perspective you have, they can’t possibly understand where you are coming from or see how you could possibly be successful at becoming an entrepreneur.

What they say isn’t relevant to you. Their statements are not for you.

If you are in a department store and they announce over the loudspeaker that a blue 2001 Chevy Cavalier in the parking lot has its headlights on, you hear and process that information. You ask yourself, do I have a 2001 Chevy Cavalier? You don’t, so you quit listening. That information is not for you. Same with the feedback from your unsupportive friends and family. The advice they give is not for you. Ignore it and change the topic of conversation to sports, hobbies, kids or something else you can bond over.

You simply cannot let it in.

Step 3. Get Results
Nothing silences nay-sayers like results.

Your unsupportive friends and family are telling you it won’t work, you can’t do it, it’s too risky and so on. Here’s a great way to argue those points:

They say: “It won’t work.”
You say: “I did it and it worked.”

They say: “You can’t do it.”
You say: “I did it.”

They say: ” It’s too risky.”
You say: “The risk paid off because it worked.”

You may have tried things before and given up when it got hard, or when you got frustrated. Don’t do that anymore. It gives support to their arguments.

No more excuses about your friends and family not supporting you becoming an entrepreneur. Use these three steps to deal with their objections and get on to successfully starting a business.

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How to Get Practically Anything You Want

The folks who accomplish big things — the type of things you might aspire to accomplish, are just like you. They are human beings with two arms, two legs, a mouth and some gray matter between their ears.

So, how do you do it too?

It’s not going to be easy. Accomplishing big things is not easy and frankly, it’s not supposed to be. But if you want to make that big things happen (you get to decide what, by the way), you have to act differently.

Here are three steps to accomplish your big goals in life.

1. Start with the outcome, not the method.
We tend to get stuck on HOW we are going to meet our goal. For example, if you want to travel the world, you might be working to create an online business that allows you to do so. If you want to help people, you might be working on starting a foundation.

When you focus on these means, rather than your larger goal, you get distracted from the real reason why you are doing what you are doing. Then you are simply executing a task that a) may not work and b) you don’t really care about.

There are many different ways to get to your end goal, and getting fixated on just one may prevent you from reaching your goal. Remain mindful of why you are doing what you are doing, so you stay motivated and take the action that is most likely to get you there.

2. Be open to various methods of getting to the goal.
When you’re trying to do something really big, you have to be flexible about how you get there. If you are creating a product to sell, the reality is that people may not want to buy that product. And that means you’ll have to change course. But, if you are focused on the larger goal, rather than the means to get there, you’ll gladly change course when you identify a better way to get to your ultimate goal.

That’s called making a mistake and mistakes are a critical part of doing anything. Mistakes are the best learning tool we have. As you make them (and you will), you gather more and more information about what path will work best to get you to where you ultimately want to go.

3. Give it a disproportionate amount of focus.
Finally, you have to give your big goal a disproportionate amount of your time. You have to spend more time on it than anything else. That means you have to eliminate almost everything that doesn’t move you toward that goal.

In your daily life, ask yourself, before you do each thing, before you embark on any new journey — is this going to move me closer to my goal? If the answer is no, you don’t do it.

Now it’s time to stop reading and start doing. You’ve got everything you need to be as successful as you want to be; you just have to change how you think about it and what you do.

Take these three steps to accomplish just about anything you want.

For more free video training on this topic, click here or watch below:

Photo by Julian Hanslmaier on Unsplash

This article was originally published on the Huffington Post

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