This may come as a huge surprise to you (probably not), but it is actually quite common here on planet earth for things to not work out exactly as you would like them to. I know. It’s shocking and concerning, but that is indeed how it works.

I doubt any rational adult would argue with that. Then why do we humans (I’m as guilty as anyone) get so surprised and upset when things don’t go how we expect? It’s just like the theoretical concept of “fairness.” We all know it doesn’t exist in the known universe. Yet we get really upset when things aren’t fair. But that’s another topic, let’s get back to things not working out how you expect.

We love control. We love to know exactly how things are going to work out and what will happen after each twist and turn. So, when things don’t go as we expect, we get frustrated, upset, and mad. This constant cycle imprisons you in a life of frustration, upset and anger. Why do we keep this up?

The only alternative is to be constantly aware of the reality that most things aren’t going to turn out how you expect. That doesn’t have to be a sad, depressing idea, it can be empowering if you think of it in the right way.

Think of everything you do as an experiment. When scientists do experiments, like mixing two chemicals to see what happens, they have a theory about what will happen, but they aren’t positive. They do the experiment to find out what will happen when they mix those two chemicals.

Suppose you approached everything in life this way? Imagine if, every time you do something, you approached it as an experiment. Something you are going to try out to see what happens.

Then how would you feel if it didn’t work out the way you expect it to? If you approach it as an experiment, you’ll find the unexpected result to be interesting instead of frustrating.

Instead of being frustrated, you’ll be interested to understand why you got the result you got, which means you’ll dig in and try to understand it better. And therefor you’ll learn from it. This will make your next “experiment” more fruitful because you’ll go into it with more information and a better understanding of the entire situation because you’ve learned from the previous experiment.

This works for everything. It works for asking people out on dates, it works in perfecting a sport or hobby and it works in business. It doesn’t matter what it is, the technique works. And it’s not rocket science.

Imagine how smart, effective, and eventually successful you would quickly become if you used this approach for everything you do in life?

Give it a shot. It’s pretty amazing. Bonus: It eliminates frustration too.

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I don’t think anything in life matters more than the relationships we have with other people. Whether it’s friends, family or business relationships, the people who are there for us and who we are there for are the most important people in our lives.

As you build an authentic business that fits you and your personality, the lines between your business and personal life becomes increasingly blurred. That’s not a bad thing. The alternative is to have a business or a job that’s so unauthentic that you need to “wall it off” from the parts of your life that are important to you.

The best business relationships usually turn into good friendships. This is why it’s a wonderful thing to build strong, mutually beneficial business relationships.

Here’s how:

1. Decide who you want to be in relationship with.
When you work for someone else, you’re basically stuck with the people you work with. You don’t get to decide who you work with and, like it or not, you have to make it work. Starting your own business is a lot of work and if you don’t build relationships with people you like and who you want to do business with, you’re missing out on one of the best parts of entrepreneurship.

Get really clear on the type of people you want to work with. Be totally OK with not having business or other relationships with people you don’t gel with.

2. Get to know them.
Figure these folks out. Get to know them intimately. What’s important to them? What do they really want out of life? Know as much as you can about them. And know how you can help them. Help them.

You can’t expect to get paid for it. At least not right away. But that’s ok; that comes later. And when you’re doing something you love and is genuine to who you are, you won’t mind doing the work and not getting paid for it. Doing work that you don’t get directly paid for is a huge part of entrepreneurship and that’s why it’s critical to be doing something you enjoy and is a fit for you.

3. Let them know what you offer
Now it’s time to be really clear about what you CAN do in exchange for money. Folks tend to fall into two traps here. They either:

a. Try to sell too soon.
This is that guy or gal who forces their products or services on strangers and then wonders why nobody buys. Be sure to do #2 above first.

b. Don’t sell enough.
Many folks fall into the trap of working hard and successfully building relationships, but never go of the sale. Don’t be silly and do this. Be clear about what you offer for money and let folks know you offer it.

If they buy, that’s OK. If they don’t, that’s ok too. Don’t just build relationships because it’s good for business, build them because it’s the most important thing to do in life.

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Sometimes the hardest thing about achieving any goal in life is simply getting started. Just taking the very first step can be very daunting, confusing and overwhelming.

But the fear and worry that it won’t work out usually stops folks. That’s a very legitimate concern, because the fact is, it’s probably not going to work out how you expect it to. It may not work out at all.

Nobody in the world who’s accomplished anything got it all right on the first try. And that’s not a bad thing; in fact it’s how this world works. You have to do things that don’t work, so you can figure out what does. The only way to figure out what does is to figure out first what doesn’t.

The information you get from taking that first step towards your goal will be extremely valuable, so let’s talk about how to take the first step.

1. Identify your first step

You might think you don’t know what your first step is, but you probably do. You’re probably worried about it not working out and that’s preventing you from taking the step. The exact step you take matters far less than actually taking the step.

We’ve already established that your first step is probably not going to go exactly as you’d like it to. So your best bet is to get it done as quickly as possible, take your learning from it and get on with it!

2. Do that thing

Whatever you identified as your first step — do it. This is pretty simple. There’s not a lot more to say. You have to do it knowing that you’re going to get some surprises, but also recognizing that you’ll learn from it.

3. Learn from it

The value that comes from taking this first step has nothing to do with how well or poorly it works. The value is the lessons you will learn from it. You will learn that next time you need to do it a little differently. Next time you’ll do it harder … or softer. You’ll do it more or you’ll do it less, you’ll use a different technique or you’ll do it with different people. Maybe you’ll make it a different color or a different price or perhaps you’ll discover that you should take a whole different path.

Either way, it’s fine. What you are doing, frustrating as it might seem, is exactly what you need to do right now.

I wish I knew a better way, but unfortunately, in all that we humans have learned, we have not found a way to ensure that your first crack at anything will go exactly as you would like it to. Take that first step so you can get the benefit of the lessons you learn from it as quickly as possible, so you can move on to achieving all your dreams.

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Everyone wants to be successful, but many people struggle to reach their goals. We tend to look in the wrong places and seek out the wrong things to help us move toward success.

The most common misconception about becoming successful is that you are lacking external things. You may falsely believe you are missing external things like knowledge, resources or money.

Those things are nice, but they won’t make you successful.

Success demands that you be the best person you can possibly can be. That means forgetting a whole bunch of what you’ve learned so far in your life. Our world is’t designed to help people become successful; it’s designed to help people survive. It doesn’t always succeed in that goal, but largely that’s the intent.

Begin by recognizing that you are one of over 7 billion people on the earth. You have ONE perspective — yours. There are over 7 billion others.

Your perspective (and the other 7 billion) come from your experiences, knowledge and environment. No two of the 7 billion people on this earth have the same perspective. It’s not even possible.

Here are some specific steps to change your perspective so you can be as successful as you want to be.

1. Accept that you might not be right
Start by getting over your ideas of right and wrong, good and bad and so forth. Your perspective is just one of many and it came from your experiences in life.

None of the other ideas or perspectives are better, worse, more right or more wrong than yours. We all think we’re right, but that’s just not how the world works.

Achieving things in this world requires a good understanding of how it actually works. You have to be able to lead people. You can’t do that if you’re stuck in false beliefs that you are right, someone else is wrong, or that the world is as simple as right and wrong.

2. Learn more perspectives
People rarely genuinely disagree. If you name any issue, everyone generally has roughly the same desired outcome. It’s the details that we usually disagree about.

Those different ideas come from our diverse perspectives. We have different ideas, believe different things and sometimes have different agendas. But when we actually listen and understand each other, we gain something much better than just being right, we get a better understanding of the world and our fellow human beings.

When we gain that deeper understanding, we find common ground. It’s from that common ground that we can build new things. We can’t build on our differences, but we can build great things on our shared beliefs.

So go get more different perspectives. These can be found easily in books, documentaries, YouTube videos and many other sources. Learn lots about things that are way different than anything you’ve experienced. It makes you better.

3. Do something different
You can study, learn, understand and so on, but none of it matters until you begin to actually act differently. There’s not much more to say on that. Just act differently and get different results.

Let’s leave right and wrong and myopic perspectives to the politicians while we get back to making the world a better place.

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